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[notsonewbie]

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derringers#1225

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ABOUT ME

Meryl Stryfe, at your service!

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(Unless it's about something Vash did)

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[wildwarden]

What? No. ( Spoke hurriedly and insistent, arms wrapping tight around her. ) Gods, no. I just-

You said you needed time to show how much you loved me and I- I was surprised, I guess. To hear it.

[notsonewbie]

[Oh, give her a second to process that. She stiffens just that little bit, just the faintest bit sheepish of having confessed in such a blasé way. Certainly, Sky deserved something with much more fanfare.

But. Here they are. And it's not like Meryl's going to hide from this.]

Well... I do. And just in case you need to hear it again? [She tips her chin up.] I love you.

[wildwarden]

( Night Sky stared at her, eyes misty with tears and wide with surprise. She didn't know what to say - no. That wasn't true. She knew exactly what to say but, for a moment, the only noise that came out of her mouth when she opened it was a soft whimper.

She never doubted how Meryl felt, but she could not fathom the words being blatantly spoken to her. )

...I love you too, Meryl.

[notsonewbie]

[Gingerly, Meryl reaches upward. She thumbs beneath an eye, coaxing away any tears that just might manage to escape. Her smile is fond as she beams down at Night Sky, fading only as she pauses to properly kiss the Dryad.]

I'm glad that's settled, then.

[wildwarden]

( It was a close call, but Night Sky managed to swallow back the tears, smiling up at Meryl in turn and then eagerly kissing her back; hands cupping her cheeks.)

Gods, you're precious. ( Then, without warning, she shifted her weight to try and roll Meryl over and start cocooning them both in blankets. ) You're never going to get rid of me now!

[notsonewbie]

[There's a squeal as she tumbles over, followed by a cacophony of giggles as they're both properly bundled up. She protests only enough to clear a spot between them, a space where she can nestle just above Night Sky's chest and close her eyes.

The sound of her breath is lulling, after all.]

I better not be. I plan to be in it for the long haul, thank you.

[wildwarden]

( Taking the hint, Night Sky kept her arms wrapped around her (like she had much choice in the burrito she had made of them both) and rested her cheek atop Meryl's head. )

Mmm. Me too, sweetness. And I look forward to all of it.

[notsonewbie]

[Now that they're both settled, it's easy enough to close her eyes and settle in. It's still early in the day, and she's never really been the napping type but — why not. There was nothing wrong with a Post-Coital nap.]

Yeah... [She barely swallows a yawn.] Me, too.

[wildwarden]

( Her lazy, hedonistic girlfriend was inclined to agree. Night Sky kissed the top of her head again and fell silent, fingers absently stroking through Meryl's hair while she drifted off to sleep. )

[scads]

( he speaks mostly in riddles because that's … just how he is these days, and perhaps it's a product of willing solitude, perhaps it's something else altogether but he's never been particularly good at normal conversation. not outside of vash, but before he'd woken up here it had been a long, long time since they had been able to sit and have a civil talk.

more than a hundred years, but that's neither here nor there.

this. this is something he thinks he's quickly catching himself getting used to.

with both of their mugs empty ( all that frantic sipping was bound to leave them like this sooner rather than later, naturally ), neither of them have much to do with their hands, much less their mouths, seeing as keeping hold of an empty mug is a bit of a moot point. her question leaves him more than a little bit speechless for a handful of seconds before he finds his composure again, picking through his words carefully. as though they were bits of glass and he's entirely too mindful of drawing blood.

his own, not hers.

he takes a deep, steadying breath in. ) I suppose … you could give some thought to calling me Nai. ( and he lets it out through his nose, a slow, slightly unsteady exhale. ) If that wouldn't be too awkward a venture. ( there have only ever been two people to call him by his given name. one of them is vash.

the other … it's his fault she no longer draws breath. )

[notsonewbie]

[With nothing more to do with her hands, Meryl shifts to the next most logical thing — washing their mugs out. It wouldn't do to just leave them in the sink, not when they were otherwise idling in the kitchen as it is. She holds her hand out expectantly for the other mug. One way or another, she'll turn back to the sink and start scrubbing. The water runs low, so she can hear Knives perfectly as he speaks.

Not that it matters. Not when she doubts the words she hears anyway.

Her immediate response is to drop the mug she's holding. It's a lucky thing that it wasn't far from the bottom of the basin. The mug thunks against the bottom, but thankfully doesn't shatter. With her back turned to him, he can't see the way her eyes go wide and wild.

His name, the one presumably given at birth, is not lost on her. Anyone that survived July had probably been haunted by the desperate cries of it as two brothers warred through the buildings. Despite knowing, however, she'd never dared to speak the name aloud. If it was something that was meant to be wildly known, Knives would have referred to himself as such.

The conclusion was easy: it wasn't hers to use. At least, not until now.

Leaving the sink be for now, Meryl turns around. Her hands are wiped on her pantlegs, all while she, too tries to find steady ground within her mind.]

Are you sure? [She winces even as she speaks. Clearly he's sure, he wouldn't say it if that weren't the case. But the words are already out in the air, and all she can do is speak around them.] It's not awkward to me, at all, that's not the problem. I just... don't want you to feel like it's an obligation.

[dedoink]

Stubborn ain't a bad thing! I've won loads o' fights just by bein' stubborn.

[ Started a bunch of fights that way, too. ]

voice;

[wildwarden]

Meryl. I need you here. Please. ( Night Sky, perhaps since the first time since they've met, sounds frustrated, angry, and clearly distressed. ) I need to talk to someone.

[notsonewbie]

[Meryl almost immediately picks up her Oracle. Who cares what she was doing before, Night Sky matters more.]

I'm here, Night Sky. What's going on?

[She's already searching for her shoes. To hell with the fact that she's in her pajamas. Obviously Night Sky had seen worse.]

I can be right over. Talk to me until then?

[wildwarden]

( Silence. Night Sky suddenly felt terrible for calling her in such a panic... and for what? Because she was scared of shit far beyond her control? )

Nothing, I - ( She sighed. ) I don't know where to start. I don't even know if I told you about me and the Green Knight and my wish and how if I don't get it I don't know what I'm going to do - ( it was nonsensical. Disjointed. Night Sky felt like she couldn't breathe. )

[notsonewbie]

I don't think you have. But that doesn't mean you can't now.

[Shoes on, Meryl makes her way to the bottom floor of the castle, and then out of the door. Maybe later, when things are calm, she should ask Night Sky to make her a staircase of vines straight from her window. It'd make the long walk just a little bit easier.]

From the beginning, Sky. Talk to me.

[wildwarden]

I - ( Fuck. She didn't want to tell Meryl any of it now. The woman had lived in bliss knowing nothing of her and her miserable past. Now she was going to inflict it on her?

Where she starts isn't the beginning, but it's a beginning. Of sorts.)

Loki mentioned plans to investigate Vaeros - mentioned people that wanted to take him down, too, but wouldn't name names. And I told him back then that it's risky to fuck with things like that. That people have wishes they need fulfilled and if they don't - if I don't...

( It sounds like shes pacing - outside, as usual, even in the cold, crunching moss and dirt and leaves under her feet. ) It's like he won't listen and he won't tell me who is saying what at those stupid council meetings and who the fuck are they anyway? Why do they get to make choices for everyone? Why are they making plans and not telling the rest of us?

[notsonewbie]

[It's probably a bad time for Meryl to start scoffing and laughing. She knows that Night Sky is broken up about it, this, and she can't really blame her. But the idea of the council being made out as anything more than it was was ridiculous in her mind.]

Sorry, sorry. I was just... there. And it really isn't anything like that. [She takes a deep breath.] Let's start with the easy stuff, right?

No one is making any plans. Not really. They just get together and talk from what I could tell. They shared information, like about the dragons that everyone took care of, and the vision we all had. Some people got worked up but - but no one is trying to force a single choice on anyone else.

All everyone really agreed on was writing up a little guide for the new people that come around.

[wildwarden]

( Silence. Again. Only this time it was somehow more... annoyed? If silence could project annoyance, this was fucking it. )

What? ( is really the only thing she could say. ) So why - why does it seem like some big special thing only certain people can be a part of? I always felt like if I walked in there they'd try and shoo me out for not being important enough.

( what the fuck!! ) Loki even suggested I get on the Oracle and try and get opinions myself when I complained about it. Then I'd look like an asshole if I did though!

( that said... going to the council meeting probably wouldn't be smart. She knew how she was - too emotional. Way too emotional.) Okay, the council isn't a bunch of assholes, that's... good to know. Unfortunately, there's still people out there who want to fuck the rest of us over if given half the chance and I don't know who any of them are.

[notsonewbie]

I don't think they would. I didn't have any issues walking in. They didn't even give me trouble for taking notes. [Which, reminds her. She swears under her breath.] I should have brought my laptop. I could have let you read everything I kept track of.

[She begins her pad her way down the road leading toward Emberglow. The Oracle is kept cradled to her ear as she goes.]

I think it'd be better if you went. You can come with me. Hold my hand. And if any of it gets uncomfortable, you can squeeze it. Or leave. I'll make sure no one makes a big deal of it.

[Emberglow swiftly comes into view.]

Even if people did want to kill Vaeros, I don't think they'd have a shot. None of us are powerful enough for that, and I think we all realize that without him, we would all be in trouble.

[wildwarden]

( Of course Meryl took notes. Really, when she thought about it, she had at least three close sources she knew attended the meetings now. She could ask any of them. Although Meryl might be the best option, given her diligent notetaking. Nothing would be missed. )

I'll — I'll think about it. ( it sounded fucking terrifying and intimidating, but she had to get her voice in there somehow. Even if she had to use her girlfriend's voice to do it. )

People do stupid things in desperate situations. I would know. ( She did not elaborate yet.) How close are you?

[scads]

( he hesitates a moment, but ultimately gives his mug over for her to wash; of course it had been his intention to do the washing himself, but it doesn't surprise him in the slightest that she beats him to it. always so quick on the uptake, this one …

but she's right, dishes may as well be washed and put away to dry if they're going to keep standing in the kitchen like a couple of bumps on a log. it never does anyone good to stay idle for too long.

his brows furrow briefly when she drops the mug, but he doesn't move to check on her; he's sure it has something to do with the mention of his given name, the name of the one he'd once told his brother was dead, and that he'd been the one to kill him, to boot. a name synonymous with the sort of innocence he hasn't been in possession of for over a century in a half, not since he'd caused the sky to fall and broken the trust of the only family he had left.

the name of a frightened little boy that had always wanted to have the same kind of faith in humanity his brother had, but had never been able to find it.

( and isn't that when gods are made, when displaced faith has nowhere else to go? )

it's a name he'd thought he never wanted to hear again, at least not until he'd woken up here and it was one of the first things he'd heard upon seeing his brother again, whole and looking no worse for the wear. he's gotten used to it since then, of course, months upon months of being called nothing but that by vash, and maybe … initially he'd thought that he would never let anyone else use it. between vash … and rem, it was sacred.

and maybe he's changing his mind about that.

when she finally turns to face him again, there's a softness to his expression that only vash has seen before, and a firmness to his voice that means he's serious. ) There is power in names. It's why I sought to change mine to begin with— ( he starts, and stops, seems to ponder his words before he begins again. ) Leaving that name behind meant detaching myself from everything that had so far come with it. Vulnerability. Helplessness. ( he pauses again. ) Fear.

I don't feel any of that here. Not anymore. So, yes … I'm sure.

[notsonewbie]

[Knives speaks, and Meryl listens. There's an almost intense level of focus on the man right now, undivided attention now focused solely on him. This was far more important than any university lecture, and definitely worlds better than any anecdote Roberto would have offered up for her. This is Knives' story, and she wants to memorize every word.

She doesn't pity him, that isn't the right word. But her heart does ache. It's hard to imagine Knives ever being vulnerable or helpless, but she has no reason to doubt him. Nor does she have any reason to doubt his reasons for rejecting his name. Unfortunately for her, whatever compassion and concern she has welling in her chest quickly manifests itself into words. Stupid, foolish words.]

You don't have to be any of that. Not here. Not with me. [As if she, not even 5 feet tall, could ever do anything about the horrors Knives had faced. All she had was a fiery temper and a tiny gun, none of which could stand up to much anything back home. Still, she speaks the words with every bit of conviction that a better built, more prepared person might.]

You deserve that safety here - [A pause.] Nai.

[notsonewbie]

[And now that Meryl knows there's a discomfort here, nothing else will be missed going forward. She'll make sure Night Sky has whatever information she needs.

In any case, she doesn't answer the question right away. Mostly because, as she approaches, she can see the pacing, antlered figure of her girlfriend in the distance. She closes the Oracle with one hand, pocketing it, while the other lifts up and waves. The rest of the distance is crossed in a near sprint, her arms throwing around Sky's shoulders when she reaches her.]

I'm here, I'm here.

[wildwarden]

Meryl? ( She almost panicked. almost. but she caught the hint of movement in her periphery just before her anxiety spiked, and instead sighed in relief. Her own oracle was shut and tossed aside into a bed of moss just as Meryl reached her. She wrapped her arms tight around her and buried her face against her neck, careful, as always, of her antlers. )

Sorry.